Lost in Thought
by Valiant336
Summary: Takes place between seasons 3 and 4. Clementine is on her way to AJ's whereabouts, but one day her thoughts take over, making her cogitate about everything she's gone through and therefore causing agonizing memories to resurface. One-shot.


Clementine walked firmly along the road surrounded by a dense forest. Her pace was moderate; not fast nor slow. Wind blowing against the trees and a couple of walkers growling were the only sounds there were.

Suddenly the wind got so strong it almost blew her hat off her head.

" _Looks like there might be a storm coming. Hopefully I'll find someplace to wait it out_ ," She pondered.

Clementine kept walking without stopping for a second. She was slowly but surely getting tired and hungry, but she kept going persistently. After all, she was on her way to find and reunite with the last person she had left. The last thing closest to family she had. The last thing she loved.

Clementine was determined to find him. She had to. And she intended to.

After killing some walkers and walking nonstop for hours, Clementine was exhausted and before she even realized, rainstorm was almost upon her and night started to fall. She didn't like the idea of sleeping outside, she had to find someplace to rest. It wasn't raining yet and there was still some daylight, but she was gradually getting desperate nonetheless.

Just then, she saw a house in the distance. It looked really old and dilapidated, but anything with four walls and a roof was better than nothing. She approached the house without seeing any kind of movement inside, and once she was just a few meters away from it, she let out an irritated sigh.

" _Just my luck. I guess it's better than sleeping out here at least_." Clementine thought to herself.

By the looks of it, the house hadn't seen inhabitants for years, but Clementine wasn't taking any chances. She drew her gun and entered the house carefully. It was a pretty small house, and obviously looted clean of anything useful a long time ago. But at least she could spend the night here.

After making sure the house was safe, she sat down on a bed she found. The house was only slightly cold, but Clementine couldn't stop herself from shivering. She lied down and hugged herself, trying to conserve as much warmth as possible.

Clementine's mind started to wander. She thought about AJ. What if he wasn't at McCarrol Ranch? What would she do? Or what if she'd find him there just to see that he's...

No. That couldn't be true. She wasn't going to lose him like she lost everyone else…

 _Everyone else_. That made Clementine think even harder. She had lost so many people over the last couple of years. Tears started trickling down her cheeks despite her attempts to hold them back. Her lips trembled uncontrollably. She hadn't thought about the past for a long time. But this night, something was different. She pulled her knees against her chest and buried her face in her hands. As raindrops pattered against the roof, Clementine was unable to stop her thoughts from wandering.

She remembered everyone.

Luke. He was always nice to her, from the very beginning. Clementine felt really comfortable around him, she told him about her past, which usually wasn't the topic she liked to talk about. He was like a big brother that she never had. If only she'd been able to save him at that stupid lake...

Kenny. He might've had some anger issues, but Clementine knew he was a good, warm-hearted man. She was beyond happy to see him again at that lodge. Their friendship had its ups and downs, but in the end they were inseparable. Kenny would die for Clementine and AJ. And that's exactly what he did when their car crashed.

And of course…

 _Lee._ Every time Clementine closed her eyes, she could hear his voice echoing in her head. He found her alone and scared on day one. Ever since then, he protected her like his own daughter. He taught her how to survive in this dreadful, ruthless world. He always knew how to handle different people and situations. He was always there for her. She missed him more and more every day. She wondered if he'd be proud of her if he saw her now.

There were many other good people too. She had been extremely lucky, she had managed to find a group of decent people. _Twice_. And they were all long gone. Javier and his family were still alive, but she wasn't sure if she'd ever see them again either. Her heart sank. All those painful memories completely overwhelmed her. She had never felt so alone. Clementine was a strong person, but even the strongest people are fragile sometimes.

She couldn't help but blame herself. She felt like she was the reason everyone close to her had perished. It seemed like wherever she went, death followed her.

In the midst of weeping, Clementine noticed the downpour had stopped. Finally managing to push her thoughts aside for a moment, she forced herself to get up, walked to the nearest window and looked out. The sky was clear and astonishing, full of glittering stars. The moon casted some natural light, illuminating the house a little. Clementine marveled at the view for a minute, and then put her hand on the window and began to speak quietly.

" _Hey guys. I don't know where you are, and I doubt you can really hear me. But I just wanted to say… Thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me. So much has happened during these last few years and I've changed a lot. Thanks to you, I'm still alive, I'm not afraid anymore and I won't give up. But I just.. I just miss you guys. I miss you so much. I wish you were still here with me. If I could bring you back, I'd do it in a blink of an eye. Things just aren't the same without you. You're the reason I'm still here and I can't thank you enough for that. Sometimes I'm just tired of being strong. But don't worry guys, I'll keep fighting."_

Clementine let out a quiet sob before finishing.

" _Once again, thank you for everything. I'll never forget you. And I hope we see each other again someday. I love you."_

" _I love you all so much."_

With that, Clementine headed back to bed and managed to smile faintly before falling asleep. She knew that somewhere up there, her friends returned the smile.


End file.
